Have you ever had a fishing buddy that would borrow equipment from
you and then never return it? Have you arrived at your favorite “secret”
fishing hole only to find two other boats right on your spot?
fisherman has a list of things that really bother him or her. You might
say they are the Murphy’s Laws of fishing. Since the 2014 inland
fishing season opened recently it’s a good time to recall a few
irritations that may have happened to you.
This is in no way a
complete list but I thought you might find comfort in knowing other
anglers may suffer as much as you do. I clipped this list from the paper
nearly 27 years ago.
- Taking a trophy fish to the taxidermist
and getting it back a year later. By this time you’ve already caught
three bigger fish!
- Dirty, broken fingernails from digging night crawlers out of the bait box.
Buying minnows and getting out to your favorite fishing hole only to
find them all dead. Whatever happened to the claim: Our minnows are
guaranteed to attract fish, or die trying!
- Windy days and rainy nights (or vice-versa).
- Fishermen using cane poles because they work better than my expensive gear.
- Wives who shut off alarm clocks set for 4:30 a.m. on Sunday mornings.
- Forgetting your coffee thermos at 4:30 am. Try to find a place open at this hour.
- Water skiers that have a whole lake to ski on but always like the area you’re fishing best.
- (Sportsmen?) who keep too many or keep undersized or illegal fish.
- Litter left by slobs alongside of otherwise beautiful lakes and streams.
- A small leak in a boat. Just enough to get your feet wet.
- Little knots in monofilament line that become big bird nests before you get them out.
- Learning there is no such thing as “one last cast.”
- The outboard motor that you have to pull two dozen times to start, then sputs and putts all of three feet before dying again.
- Anchor lines that always seem to be all tangled when you’re ready to use them.
- Leaky waders which, of course, you didn’t know leaked until you’re a mile up your favorite trout stream.
- The guy that says, “You should have been here yesterday!” It translates into last week, last month, last year or never.
- Running out of bait, just when the fish start biting.
- Being up the creek without any paddles!
- Fishing partners whose alarm clocks never seem to work at 5 a.m.
- People who always ask, “Where did you catch that monster fish?” (I guess if they have to ask, they like being lied to.)
Having your outboard run out of gas, and then remembering your spare
tank is still in the trunk. Probably doesn’t matter. You didn’t remember
to fill it. Chances are, it will also start raining.
- Free and frequent advice from every nearby fisherman on how to land a big fish you have just connected with.
- Finding out your fish basket has a broken door on it, right after you put a beautiful trout in it.
- Another fisherman who has previously caught just a little bigger fish than the trophy he just watched you land.
- Going to a guaranteed, can’t miss fishing hole and getting skunked.
- Fancy new fishing lures that are human attention-getters but not fish-getters, that crowd your tackle box.
- Buying a new outboard motor and then realizing you also need a new boat but can’t afford it.
Fishing a new lake with a high-priced fishing guide, then realizing the
expert doesn’t know anymore than you about where to fish.
- Remembering you forgot your net right after you hooked into a six-pound-plus bass.
Fishing for three hours in a favorite spot unsuccessfully and moving
while another fellow walks up and in five minutes has a limit catch.
- Slippery rocks in your favorite trout stream.
- Overhanging branches that always seem to cover the spot that fish are laying it. (It gets expensive losing lures.)
Wives that won’t let you cook fish in the kitchen because it stinks up
the house. However, the wife doesn’t mind eating her share of the fish.
- Scaling fish. I always end up with more scales on me than anywhere else.
Finally the ultimate: After filling three or four tackle boxes with
every conceivable bait made, finding out that the best bait around is
still the night crawler and minnow!