It’s that weekend. Yard sales everywhere you step. For some people,
this is heavenly with signs lining the road and tables full of stuff
farther than the eye can see. Me, I’m not a fan. I have enough stuff to
last me until next year, thanks anyway.
But I’m not going to deny
anyone their sense of fun. Just don’t step out in front of my car to go
dicker with someone for that used waffle-maker. That’s one of the things
I’m not too keen about when it comes to such sales. Too many people
forget that roads are for traffic and the “That’s OK, they’ll stop”
attitude causes a few additional cardiac events.
But this is a
huge weekend for yard sale fanatics. All along Lincoln Highway and along
U.S. 127 there are yard sales, and please call them yard sales. Unless,
of course, the one you are visiting is actually in a garage. If the
items are in a garage, great! It’s a garage sale!
If they are in
the yard, guess what? It’s a yard sale! There are tent sales, antique
sales, junk sales, and all sorts of things like that. Some people call
them “tag sales” because the merchandise could be anywhere, and they
wouldn’t want to miss a sale!
I don’t like shopping at garage
sales because I’m too lazy to walk through someone’s garage (or yard) to
hunt down things I really don’t need. I don’t like having a garage sale
because most of the customers are just plain cheap. I could set a solid
gold bar on a yard sale table with a $1 price tag on it, and the first
150 customers will all ask the same question — “Will you take 50 cents
NO! It’s only one dollar! Reach a little deeper in your
lint-filled pockets and pull out FOUR quarters! Is reading
comprehension a problem for you? (Alright, holding a sale can stress me
out! But you know that’s true!)
Let me emphasize, I have no
problem with buying things that are formerly used. I have owned only one
new car in my lifetime, I often wear clothing purchased at thrift
stores, and when I bowl, I rent the shoes. I’m not stuck up and insist
only on brand new items. Although there are some articles of clothing we
shouldn’t see for sale out on someone’s sale table. And I’ll just leave
it at that.
My last sale was a failure. The temperature in April
hit a new record low and the wind started knocking things onto the
concrete and a few items broke. To make matters worse, the neighbor’s
dog came to visit and knocked a few more breakables onto the pavement.
Total sales = $20. Total broken items = $25 according to the tags. Of
course people would have asked for half off, so maybe I made a couple of
bucks after all!
The time before that, I had a pony cart for
sale. It was a beautiful item. I had purchased the cart new in Indiana
Amish country. I made sure to highlight the cart in my newspaper ad and
gave it a prime position in my yard. The day before the sale, some guy
saw it, stopped, and bought it for full price. It was a great
However when the sale did start, every person asked
about that cart I used to have in my yard. Some had read it in the paper
and wanted to take a look at it. The simple fact is I could have sold
no less than half a dozen of those things and I only had one, and that
one was sold before the sale actually started.
I spent most of the
weekend trying to remember which stone road in Indiana I had driven
down to find the guy who had built that cart. I wanted to buy as many as
possible and bring them back to sell to a waiting public. Wouldn’t you
know, I had no directions to his place and (of course) no Amish phone
number to use to call and order a yard full of them! But at least I got
full money out of the one I had.
For those of you who love to poke
around table of used nonsense and items you will probably have to fix
before you can use them, I hope you are having or have had a wonderful
yard sale weekend. And if you are preparing to go out and offer 50 cents
for one-dollar items, go back in your own house and read a book. Don’t
torture these poor sellers. You’ve been warned.