Sara Berelsman
Sara Berelsman

A friend of mine recently had a party. I know, that’s not a big life-changing event. But it was. She recently got divorced. This was the first time she had people over in her own, brand-new place.

I know religiously speaking, divorce is frowned upon. And maybe this is controversial but I believe in divorce. I don’t think it should be used in haste, and I think couples should try everything possible to make it work, but sometimes it just doesn’t. And I think that’s okay. Happiness can sometimes be just around the corner for some people, and that can only happen by leaving the one you’re with. For some, this is a tough decision. For others, it’s not. For my friend, it wasn’t.

She’d been very unhappy for quite some time. None of us knew it; she never talked about it. But her husband was abusive — verbally and physically. I don’t care what you say, if someone like that doesn’t change and you’ve tried everything possible to make it work, it’s time to leave.

Life is too short to stay miserable, especially if you’re only doing it to appease everyone else, because you care too much about what other people think. Other people aren’t the ones living your life. You are. I haven’t seen my friend this happy. Ever.

So I’m not saying rush out and get a divorce if you’re stuck in a marital rut. Go to counseling. Don’t have too much pride to do that. It can save a marriage. It’s saved mine. I am saying, though, that if that doesn’t work, if nothing works, and you’re spending every single day stuck in what feels like a prison, do something about it. Your life could be so much better on the other side.

I think many people unfortunately stay in horrible marriages because of the kids and financial reasons. I get that. But sometimes staying in the marriage is worse for the kids. And financially speaking, there is always a way. Always. It can work.

Just don’t hold back from living the life you want because you’re scared. Change is scary. My friend’s life has been turned completely upside down. Yet if she’d stayed in her dysfunctional marriage, she would still be unhappy and dreading every day. That’s no way to live a life. And you want to live your best life. If you’re miserable, go with your gut like she did. Find your happiness.

And you can’t put a price on that.