A friend of mine recently had a party. I know, that’s not a big
life-changing event. But it was. She recently got divorced. This was the
first time she had people over in her own, brand-new place.
know religiously speaking, divorce is frowned upon. And maybe this is
controversial but I believe in divorce. I don’t think it should be used
in haste, and I think couples should try everything possible to make it
work, but sometimes it just doesn’t. And I think that’s okay. Happiness
can sometimes be just around the corner for some people, and that can
only happen by leaving the one you’re with. For some, this is a tough
decision. For others, it’s not. For my friend, it wasn’t.
been very unhappy for quite some time. None of us knew it; she never
talked about it. But her husband was abusive — verbally and physically. I
don’t care what you say, if someone like that doesn’t change and you’ve
tried everything possible to make it work, it’s time to leave.
is too short to stay miserable, especially if you’re only doing it to
appease everyone else, because you care too much about what other people
think. Other people aren’t the ones living your life. You are. I
haven’t seen my friend this happy. Ever.
So I’m not saying rush
out and get a divorce if you’re stuck in a marital rut. Go to
counseling. Don’t have too much pride to do that. It can save a
marriage. It’s saved mine. I am saying, though, that if that doesn’t
work, if nothing works, and you’re spending every single day stuck in
what feels like a prison, do something about it. Your life could be so
much better on the other side.
I think many people unfortunately
stay in horrible marriages because of the kids and financial reasons. I
get that. But sometimes staying in the marriage is worse for the kids.
And financially speaking, there is always a way. Always. It can work.
don’t hold back from living the life you want because you’re scared.
Change is scary. My friend’s life has been turned completely upside
down. Yet if she’d stayed in her dysfunctional marriage, she would still
be unhappy and dreading every day. That’s no way to live a life. And
you want to live your best life. If you’re miserable, go with your gut
like she did. Find your happiness.
And you can’t put a price on that.