I saw the new movie with Sylvester Stallone over the weekend. I tell you that not to give you a review of the flick, but here’s what struck me during the film. Half the time I saw Stallone on the big screen, I expected the theme from Rocky to start playing. Now it didn’t hurt that he was playing a boxer in the movie, but still his face would, at times, set off that music in my head. It’s like a theme song. The president of the United States gets a theme song. True, each one of them have the same tune, and no one seems to know the words, but it’s a theme song. When a president walks into a room, “Hail to the Chief” starts playing. Even if there is no orchestra there. Maybe one of the Secret Service agents carries a boombox, I don’t know. Bob Hope always got the same treatment, but his song was, “Thanks for the Memories.” Other stars like Johnny Carson had a recognizable theme song that played at their arrival. Not many people get that treatment. True, professional wrestlers get a theme song. It’s been that way since I was in college, although I don’t recall Dick the Bruiser having theme music blaring when he made an entrance.

Wouldn’t that be an interesting way to go through life? What if every time I entered a theatre, showed up at a ball game, or walked through a mall, my theme song would play? Bothersome? Probably. But extremely cool. And what would that song be? No idea. Maybe you know what song you would want to represent you when you walked in, but I can’t choose just one song. And, if there’s more than one song, it can’t be my theme song. I could go with something classy or something that makes me feel powerful or a tune that says something about me. (Note nothing “classy” would fit that latter category.)

There are a few people who have theme songs because someone wrote a hit song about him or her. There are probably many we don’t know about, but surely you know that Billy Joel wrote his hit, “Uptown Girl” about his then-wife Christie Brinkley. I guess that makes the tune, Christy’s theme song. John Denver’s ex-wife Annie was the subject of, “Annie’s Song” (Not a lot of camouflage on that one.) And the song, “Rosanna” by Toto was written about a girl named Rosanna who used to date one of the band members. At least that was the story back in the day. That’s the easy way to get a theme song. But suppose you don’t know any talented musicians who want to write a song about you?

So I sat to consider at least the best genre for me. Then the thought struck me, how about a TV show theme? I can just hear the Dick Van Dyke Show theme or the Andy Griffith Show theme, but then people will think I was on the show. A TV theme like The Brady Bunch or Gilligan’s Island could work. The lyrics could explain all about me. But the problem again is that I need a talented musician to come up with something suitable. So scratch that.

I could find a country tune, after all I grew up in the country and have lived in rural areas much of my life. But that really doesn’t represent me. I could pick a hard rock tune with a lot of attitude that tells people to step back when I walk in, but that’s so unnecessary. I might select a love ballad since I am a romantic fool, but I am a married romantic fool, and I’d hate for anyone to get the wrong impression. Maybe a march. But then again, I’ve never served in the military and haven’t marched anywhere since high school band. A catchy dance number? Yeah, right. I’m not exactly light on my feet (or anybody else’s feet, for that matter.) I could choose some smooth jazzy tune to show my style, but my style is anything but smooth.

In fact, that might be the key right there. Different types of music represent different aspects of who I am. So the next time you are in a room and you hear the orchestra break into 30 or 40 different tunes all played simultaneously, look around. I’ve probably just made my entrance.