So I really didn’t have much to write about this week. It hasn’t been a huge news week locally. Some good news, mostly the transformation of the landscape from arctic tundra to dirty lake sprinkled with cars and buildings. So I was contemplating when I ran across something that leaped to my attention. It was a simple headline: “Barbie-obsessed woman uses hypnotherapy to make herself ‘brainless.’” Yes, I was amazed too.

Here’s the short version: California woman is obsessed with being a real-life Barbie. She’s already had five plastic surgeries on various body parts to make her look the part. She has the blonde hair, the over-exaggerated bustline, the wardrobe, but she has this problem. She’s too smart. So what is she doing about being too intelligent to be a proper Barbie doll? She’s trying to get rid of that pesky brain she was born with. And how does one get rid of a brain? Hynotherapy. She’s going through two or three sessions of hypnotherapy sessions a week to dumb down her thoughts. Yes. She’s too smart, so she’s spending actual money to have someone make her stupider. Let that sink in for a while.

She has sat through at least 20 sessions as of earlier this week. Her report is that it must be working because she’s already starting to feel ditzy and confused all the time. Perhaps she doesn’t remember feeling ditzy and confused when she agreed to pay some guy to hypnotize her to make her stupid. I have my doubts that she was college material at that point. She actually stated that she wants to be brainless and that being a human doesn’t make sense. She wants to be completely plastic.

The thought of a living person considering herself too smart and paying someone to make her stupid goes right off the irony charts. She pours out her thoughts on a Twitter account where she unafraid to show off her plastic-enhanced bustline. The entries read like a giggling airhead, so maybe that hypnotherapy is really working.

For the record, her family hates her lifestyle, and that her plastic looks seem to turn people off, she admitted. But she loves the way she looks. At least she will until she starts cracking. On second thought, she may already be cracked.

To a certain extent I can understand her wanting to be a Barbie. I remember my sister’s Barbies when I was growing up. She had sports cars, dream houses, and all kinds of status items. Maybe our California doll thinks she’s going to open a box and find her new home. Maybe she wants a nice plastic boyfriend. I don’t know. I’m out of excuses for her.

Of course the person who is really making out like a thief in all this is the hypnotherapist. You wouldn’t even need to bother hypnotizing her. She’s pretty much brainless at this point anyway. Tell her that the best way to make her stupid is to slap her in the face a few dozen times. Cash your check. It’s that easy.

Alright, I’m done laughing at her. It’s really a sad story. This lady is obsessed with a childhood toy. She is longing for a fake world and rejecting a real one. She wants to fritter away what limited brain power she actually has. She is embracing plastic instead of flesh. The more I read of her, she almost seems to be a role model for too many people today. Be someone from whom nothing much is expected. Polish yourself up and look pretty sitting over there in the corner. Be concerned with no one or nothing other than your own looks. That’s the image that too much media puts out for young women and young men. Praise for the pretty. Ignore those who really make a difference. Be the next Kardashian. Go ahead.

My prayers for those who long only for their Malibu Dream House and a fabulous wardrobe.